Loudon Wainwright III - Bill Of Goods

Couldn't make the effort
You couldn't talk the chit-chat
At the dinner table you looked tired
The soft candle light couldn't hide that.
Your perfume pettered out.
There was a whiff from your nicked armpit
When the real you wafted through
And your deodorant
Couldn't stop it.

There was a fire in your building.
They still don't know what caused it.
But all your clothes and shoes burned up,
When it spread to your closet.
You had on your see-through night gown,
Not quite completely naked.
You refused the fire chief,
When he offered you the blanket.

Everything will be alright,
Remember when you thought that?
I sold you that bill of goods,
Remember when you bought that?

Common knowledge has it,
Easy never does it.
We gave each other such a hard time,
It sure was fun or was it an adventure or disaster,
Kinda sweet or sorta sour,
Nothing's that important
When it takes more than half an hour.

And if you're gonna catch it,
Pray that day that they can cure it
And the procedure is painless,
So somehow we'll all endure it.
And if there's surgery it's plastic
And entirely cosmetic,
So the new you is near perfect
For some so unatheletic.

Everything will be alright,
Remember when you thought that?
I sold you that bill of goods,
Remember when you bought that?

Everything will be alright,
Remember when you thought that?
I sold you that bill of goods,
Remember when you bought that?

Everything will be alright.